Subjective
by EdgeOfSeventeen
Summary: AU. Sakura and Sasuke: A Relationship. Because love isn't always happiness, and he wants her to be happy.


**Disclaimer: Naruto is not mine :(**

**A/N: For anyone who has been heartbroken, and wishes they knew what they were missing out on.**

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**Sakura and Sasuke in Seven Parts**

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**Five.**

"But I can't stand it Sasuke! I can't live without you!"

Dignity told Sakura she should be restrained, hold back her desperation, but Sakura was never one to listen to her rational side. Dignity can go to hell. She loves him too much.

"You will have to."

Sasuke. Forever cold, forever passive. Why can't he understand her desperation, the love that is bursting through her at such a force she is left shaking?

"But I love you! I love you so much it hurts."

She hears her own pathetic sobs, words and tears she'll come to regret showing him, in time.

"I don't love you any more, I'm sorry. I don't know if I ever did."

Words become bullets, burying themselves within her. Why are his words hurting her physically? He can't possibly understand how these words are wounding her. It's too much, even for her, pathetic, needy Sakura, the implications of his statement hitting her like a slap in the face.

"Then . . . why, why did you pretend Sasuke?" She can't look at his face any more; its beauty just makes her sad.

"I thought it was what you wanted to hear."

If she looked up now she'd see the tears in his eyes. His voice doesn't betray them, and he's not sad that it's over, he's sad that he has to hurt her. He loves that she loves him, but he doesn't think he feels the same; he has nothing to compare this love too. If he's never been in love before, how can he be sure?

"I only ever wanted the truth, Sasuke. I knew I wasn't . . . good enough for you. But I thought I at least deserved the truth."

He hates that she puts herself down like that, it isn't true, and he doesn't think that. That isn't why this has to end. They are unhappy, he makes her unhappy. In time, he knows she will understand that.

"Sakura, please, lie with me. Just once more."

And so she does. Trapped in his arms as he drifts off to sleep, sleep that she knows will not come as easily to her. She studies his face, 'one last time' she tells herself, and slips away, desperate for her home; for her mum, for her friends, for the comfort she needs to get over this. She won't give him his last request. She leaves, trying to preserve the last bit of dignity she has.

When he awakes the next morning, more than just his arms feel empty. But it's for the best. He is sure.

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**One.**

They met at a party. She was with her friends, sitting on the floor; he looked lost, searching for someone he knew.

"Hey! Come and sit with me."

She's drunk, and she's not usually this forward, but she's feeling brave and she wants to make new friends. And this guy is _beautiful_. Ordinarily, she would avoid guys like this – why would he be interested in _her_ – but the drink gives her the courage she normally lacks.

He thinks she's cute, hair a brazen shade of pink, and he can't find his own friends, so he moves towards her. Ordinarily, he would walk past, not one for socialising, but he wants to try something new, and this girl is intriguing. Girls with pink hair tend to be.

He sits on the floor beside her, taking the beer she offers him.

"Sakura," she announces, putting her hand out towards him.

'How formal,' he thinks, amused.

"Sasuke," he answers, clasping her hand in a handshake.

She has the prettiest green eyes.

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**Two.**

"I think I'm falling in love with you," he says, as they lay in his bed, arms and legs tangled together, fingers threaded.

She has the brightest smile in that moment, green eyes sparkling.

"I know that I love you, Sasuke."

And he assumes it must be love, he's never felt this way about a girl before. Everything is Sakura, he muses, while she lies in his arms, and he kisses the back of her neck, smelling the coconut shampoo in her hair. He wants this moment to last forever.

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**Three.**

"What if this is just infatuation?"

It's a simple question. He doesn't expect her anger.

"Infatuation? You ring me and four in the morning to discuss whether what you feel is love or _just_ _infatuation_."

"Well how would I know Sak? I've got nothing to compare you too!"

She's crying, why is she crying, he hasn't said anything wrong.

"Why are you always questioning us, Sasuke? Why can't you just live in the moment? Feel what you feel and don't question it. As long as you're happy, why does it matter?"

He does care for her; he knows this as he listens to her cry, willing her to stop, wishing he could comfort her. But he's never happy, not really. Only for short bursts of time, when he's with her, when the rest of the world doesn't matter and it is just them.

But the rest of the world does matter, and he can't ignore that. And he will never be happy, no one else can make him happy or change him. But he can't tell her that, he doesn't want to hurt her. So he pretends.

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**Four.**

Sakura knows something is wrong. She's been busy with Med School, and job applications, and she's neglected their relationship for a little while, but it occurs to her that he doesn't look at her like he used to, like she was the only thing worth looking at in the world, like she _is _his world, an abstract painting or poem that he is forever trying to understand.

Now it's indifference, boredom. She thinks he's had enough, actually, she knows he has. She wants him to kiss her like he means it again.

Why must it be her fault that this is failing? He hasn't told her how he's feeling, or why he is feeling it. She may be clever but she is not a mind reader, and she has certainly never understood Sasuke.

She feels like he's moved away, like he has gone somewhere she can't follow. She doesn't know him anymore.

Why must love be uneven? It is not constant like she always thought it was, it changes, evolves, dies. Love and pain go hand in hand. Love is not the happy ever after she always assumed it would be.

It never occurs to her that it is Sasuke who makes her sad, not love. Because Sasuke has never shown her love, not really. He doesn't know how to love Sakura.

He's self- destructing. He knows this, and she does too. He doesn't want to be happy, doesn't think he can be. But what he doesn't understand is that on his path of self-destruction, he has succeeded in destroying her.

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**Six.**

He sees her, three years later, sitting on a bench in the park, pink hair blowing in the wind, reading a book. Kazuo Ishiguro's _Never Let Me Go_, he notes.

He approaches her, he wants to say hello, see how she's been. He smells the coconut shampoo on the wind, the smell he always associates to the pocket of time he spent with her.

"Sasuke!"

She smiles, holding her hand out for him to shake as he approaches.

"Sakura."

He shakes it, her eyes are sparkling again, and he knows she is happy. He ignores the pang that tells him it is probably someone else that is making her radiate this bright, a happiness he could never give her.

"You look well, Sasuke. Are you happy?"

She looks at him, searching his face, and he's surprised by her directness. It reminds him of the old Sakura, the Sakura he met at that party, the Sakura before him. The look of genuine concern she gives him makes his stomach clench uncomfortably. He hasn't had anyone show any concern for him in so long, not in this way.

"Yes," he answers, and her face breaks into a relieved smile.

It occurs to him in that moment that he did love her, loved her for ability to love him, despite his flaws, loved the way she cared for him, loved how happy she made him. But he didn't love her enough for _her_, for her own strengths. He hopes that whoever is making her happy now appreciates everything she is, like he was never able to do.

As she gathers her things and waves goodbye to him, on her way to meet a friend, he watches her disappear in to the distance, knowing he loved her with everything he had, but everything he had was not what she deserved.

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**Seven.**

"I could have loved you forever, Sasuke, but you wouldn't let me."

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**A/N: Inspired by a number of things, mostly Veronica Forrest-Thomson, Laura Marling and good, old-fashioned heartbreak.**

**I couldn't decide whether to put the last part as number seven, or as number six, (after their break up but before they meet again). But I thought if I put it as seven it leaves it a bit ambiguous as to whether they meet again. . .**

**Please let me know what you think, I really enjoyed digging deep from the past and writing this.**


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